Word Vomit

I’m thinking hard about what to say. I know that if I say the wrong thing My words will be used against me. My thoughts are overwhelming And I become frustrated. I appear to be unresponsive. The silence grows louder. It’s screaming in my ear. I start to panic. In thunderous roars I feel myself losing my sanity. I hiss. I growl. I shout. I imagine what my response feels like. It probably feels like a slap to the face, Or a venomous sting. For a moment, I can’t see a thing. It’s all just red. When the storm passes I see you standing in front of me, Angry and confused. I had a feeling this would happen. That damn Hyde. He’s always exposing the worst of me. I try to salvage this. To say what I really meant. But it’s too late. The damage has been done, And you now see the ugliness within me. Cynical, Twisted, And unhinged! You lash out. Calling me out for what I am. Believe it or not, I am j...

There is no one That I judge more harshly Than myself. For every one of my misdeeds, I brace myself for the consequences. No matter what they may be. When I commit a crime, I don’t accept it. I can’t accept it. Putting your mistakes behind you Doesn’t give way to progress. If anything, It increases your chances Of repeating the same mistake. I’m harsh on myself Because I have to be. If the people around me Decide they want to punish me too, I’ll let them. Of course being attacked by others upsets me. But it’s not because I think they’re being unfair. It’s because I know I brought it on myself. Sure, I can blame others for my mistakes. I’ve done it before. But that doesn’t change that it’s my fault. If I’m wrong, I need to live with it. I have to feel the pain. I have to remember how it felt To let someone down, So that it won’t happen again. I want to be someone kind. Someone who always does what’...

You’re alive. I’ve seen you out there. Evidence has been posted on the wall. Weeks have gone by, And not a word has been exchanged. We’re drifting apart. Distance stands between us, And time continues to tick. Once in a while I’ll reach out, But you never answer. It bothers me. Life always gets in the way. How rude and inconsiderate. I get it. The universe is cruel. But what made you so careless? You don’t have to answer every message, But at least respond to one. Tell me to go away if that’s what you want. If you’re going to cut me out, At least tell me that’s what this is. Don’t hide like a little kid. You’re a coward. I want to say it to your face, But you won’t allow it. No goodbye. No explanation. Nothing. It’s frustrating. I want to know what went wrong, But you’re already long gone. Even if you had some harsh things to say, That would’ve been better Than saying nothing at all.