Dr. Jekyll

I’m thinking hard about what to say.

I know that if I say the wrong thing

My words will be used against me.

My thoughts are overwhelming

And I become frustrated.

I appear to be unresponsive.

The silence grows louder.

It’s screaming in my ear.

I start to panic.

In thunderous roars

I feel myself losing my sanity.

I hiss.

I growl.

I shout.

I imagine what my response feels like.

It probably feels like a slap to the face,

Or a venomous sting.

For a moment,

I can’t see a thing.

It’s all just red.

When the storm passes

I see you standing in front of me,

Angry and confused.

I had a feeling this would happen.

That damn Hyde.

He’s always exposing the worst of me.

I try to salvage this.

To say what I really meant.

But it’s too late.

The damage has been done,

And you now see the ugliness within me.

Cynical,

Twisted,

And unhinged!

You lash out.

Calling me out for what I am.

Believe it or not,

I am just as angry as you.

This isn’t who I want to be.

When I look in the mirror,

I do so with disgust.

But my reflection grins evilly.

I’m torn between demented thoughts

And blissful dreams.

My mind is a warzone.

It doesn’t make any sense.

Clarity is all covered in debris.

You asked what I thought,

Pushed me into the depths of my mind,

And saw the aftermath of an explosion.

This isn’t me.

This isn’t me.

This isn’t me.

Oh,

But it is!