If This Is What You Want, This Is What You Get

It’s hard to know when you’re being annoying.

I thought I was showing you that I cared,

But now I’m being pushed away.

You asked for space,

But we hardly see each other.

To make up for the absence

I would send you things.

Stuff I thought you would like.

Not sure what your deal is.

I’m not crazy.

I don’t constantly message you day in and day out.

Sure,

The past couple days I messaged you a bit more than usual.

But I did it because I got the sense you were out of touch.

Not just with me,

But with everyone.

Every stupid meme and photo

Was just my way of reminding you that I’m here.

Maybe I could have backed off a bit,

But I didn’t know that it bothered you.

I assumed that every time you left me on read

You just didn’t have anything to say.

And honestly,

I was fine with that.

But perhaps you felt a pressure to respond.

That didn’t even occur to me until now.

If that’s the case

I want you to know that I’m sorry.

It was not my intention to make you feel bad for not getting back to me.

But you didn’t have to be a jerk.

Telling someone to leave you alone without explaining why,

It’s a mean and inconsiderate thing to do.

Not giving me a reason,

It nearly drove me insane.

I kept trying to think of where I went wrong.

But this time,

I don’t think I did anything.

And if I did,

Then this falling out is your fault for not telling me.

But if it’s not me,

It would be nice if you just let me know.

Life can be shitty.

I get that.

But if your solution is to callously push people away,

Don’t be surprised if you end up alone.

Usually I tell my friends I'm always here for them,

But if I’m not wanted here

Then there’s no point in staying.  

I won't bother you anymore.

If you want me,

It's up to you to find me.

I'm done reaching out to you.